It tends to die quietly, gradually withering away like a starving infant. The disconnected part of the soul isn’t a very rude or demanding entity.
And they try not to think about what they’re doing without. They bury themselves in work, service, or other worthwhile venues. Typically, people who are trying this last false solution don’t make a big fuss about things. You are too damaged to have relationships. It judges in several ways, telling you things like: You aren’t meant for safe people. The very isolation of the dilemma is a judgment on you. When doing the same, the opposite, too much, nothing, for others, and to yourself fall through, you are left looking at yourself, alone, in a mirror. It is where people go who have given up hoping for relationship. Doing without is the final resting place of many who have tried the first six false solutions. “This false solution is last for a reason. Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't People who have trouble with boundaries may exhibit the following symptoms: blaming others, codependency, depression, difficulties with being alone, disorganization and lack of direction, extreme dependency, feelings of being let down, feelings of obligation, generalized anxiety, identity confusion, impulsiveness, inability to say no, isolation, masochism, overresponsibility and guilt, panic, passive-aggressive behavior, procrastination and inability to follow through, resentment, substance abuse and eating disorders, thought problems and obsessive-compulsive problems, underresponsibility, and victim mentality.” Finally, however, with a supportive church group, Kate set limits on her time with her mom, made friends in her singles’ group, and stayed connected to her new spiritual family.
Having no sense of strong boundaries, Kate had great difficulty taking risks and connecting with people. She’d always been warned that she was sickly, would get hit by cars, and didn’t know how to care for herself well. Kate had been quite controlled by her overprotective mother. This isolates us from love, and keeps us from taking in safe people. “If your boundaries have been injured, you may find that when you are in conflict with someone, you shut down without even being aware of it.
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